How to treat yourself better financially speaking. (Are you even on your own team?)

No one doubts me more than I do. You should hear the way I talk to myself. It’s horrible.

Reading those words reminded me of how I treat myself sometimes.

I’ve said some horrible things to myself.

And it’s not just the horribleness, but the volume and frequency that really stings. Once or twice a year quietly would be one thing, once or twice an hour and very loud is something totally different.

Even worse, I put up with it in a way that I would never put up with someone else saying, thinking, a believing these things about me.

I’m with myself way more often than I’m with anyone else.

I talk to myself way more often than anyone else talks to me.

I believe the things I say to myself more easily than I believe the things other people say and think about me. (Other people are idiots, I’m the smart one, so I should believe the things I think about myself!)

How do you talk to you?

Imagine there’s a person who is with you 24 hours a day, sitting next to you all the time, in the car with you, in the bathroom with you. Now imagine that person says out loud all the things you say to yourself.

How long would you put up with that person?

When it comes to doubting my abilities, I’m the biggest doubter in my life.

It’s ridiculous.

It sometimes takes me until mid-afternoon to remember and believe that I am perfectly capable of accomplishing the things I’ve set out to do.

At least that’s how it used to be. I’ve turned a corner recently.

Beyond words

Let’s move beyond thoughts… How do you treat yourself?

I’m talking about the decisions you make for yourself and the actions you take for your life.

If you were suddenly in charge of making decisions for someone you loved and cared about, what kinds of decisions would you make? (Think about it for a second…. actually think about it.)

Compare those decisions to the ones you make for yourself.

Are they different?

Are they better? Worse?

are-you-even-on-your-own-side-1

 

Treat yourself better

If you were suddenly split into two people. You, and the voice in your head. Would you be on the same team? Or would it look like one was trying to sabotage the other?

Challenges, doubts…. the world is full of them. They’ll find you, no need to send an invitation.

When it comes to waking up each morning and facing a new day, at the very least you’ll need to be on your own side. You might be the only one who shows up.

Start with that voice in your head. Demand that he is on your side or kick him out and move on without him.

When it comes to the choices you are making for your life (including your money) does it look like you are on your side, like, at all?

You can be your own best friend. It’s okay, really.

There’s nothing stopping you from believing in yourself and thinking highly of your abilities.

There will be days when the only nice thing someone says to you comes from you.

So, start there.

Say it with me, “I am perfectly capable of accomplishing the things I’ve set out to do.”

-Derek

5 Responses to "How to treat yourself better financially speaking. (Are you even on your own team?)"

  1. Nicole   December 27, 2016 at 4:21 pm

    Oh boy! You went all deep with this one. Ok I’ll say it: I am perfectly capable of accomplishing the things I’ve set out to do. There. Now I just have to believe that.

    Reply
    • Derek   December 28, 2016 at 2:55 pm

      haha, yeah. Gotta go deep sometimes to make some real changes.

      I got a question for you: What have you set out to do?

      Reply
  2. Jay   December 29, 2016 at 8:41 am

    Neat post! This was a fun exercise to think of myself as two different people. I can definitely do some work to listen to the voice and get on the same page in 2017. Thanks again!

    Reply
    • Derek   December 30, 2016 at 2:47 pm

      Yeah man. Thinking of yourself as two different people can actually be helpful in lots of ways.

      Reply
  3. Sanjib   January 2, 2017 at 1:44 am

    When considering financial matters two things are very important: “retrospection” and “being in your own team”. I am so glad to have come across a post that has discussed both in details. Sometimes are imaginary financial conversations with ourselves need to be puppet by the subconscious to delve deep and see where our decisions actually take us. So the point discussed in this post, especially “treat youself better” is very inspiring and I wish to apply it in my actions in 2017.

    Reply

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